Do You Earn It?

Wife called him 'Sergeant' and kids addressed him 'Sergeant ji'. If any of his friends called out 'Ram' (his real name), he would be irked and would instantaneously counter with the amendment.

The behaviour surprised many. They thought 'Ram' was a godly name and how a person could have objection to such a heavenly name.

His old father came along one day and called him by his name. As usual the sergeant tendered the correction. Like many others, his father was not surprised but was shocked by this sudden metaphor. The old dandy was reluctant to post at the changed address.

The perplexed father questioned his son's title fetish.The sergeant replied, "This I earned for myself. That you gave me, and I prefer to keep what I earn. So you better call me Sergeant."

The old man thought for a while and gave a cold reply, "OK Sergeant, I think, I don't have much time left on me and I brought this will for you, but now I need to change it, cause you don't earn it."

Vanishing Act by an Airlines

Sex No Bar

Delhi high court has decriminalized massacre of pin worms, oops, I mean homosexuality.

I see it as the first step to decriminalize Indian politics. Legalise all crimes and politics will automatically be decriminalized. Simple! Great thinking.

And also, an answer to India's growing population as runaway sperms are bound to hit the heap of shit and get wasted.

Congratulation my countrymen, your better halve may have similar pol(e)arity. More options available to you now for matrimony with ' sex no bar'.

Baring Necessity

Man is a hardcore hypocrite. Class two and three books say, man wears clothes to protect self from weather.

But infact, it all started after Eve ate the apple, leaf acquired the centre stage on human body, which constantly intrigued both of them from then on as to "Patti ke pichhe kya hai?" The curiosity has resulted in trillions of us, many dead cats and others surviving.

I am sitting in the office and sweating profusely under my clothes in 40 degree C room temperature as all power appliances rest in peace here. They all are martyr to an over-efficient Sun and a grossly under-efficient state electricity board.

I envy the electricity board, which has right to shed but we don't. Clothes on me have lost the sense of purpose yet I have to don them for the leafy concept.

Wish my bottle of beer, bare ass and hell with shameful hypocrisy!!!

Missing Girl

Tsunami spared her. But as the fate be, she was abducted from the relief camp.

If you've seen her, pls report to:
1. James mathew( 123.mathew@gmail. com )
2. Amit kumar ( amitkumarmajor@ hotmail.com )
3. khem chandra pan ( khemchandrapan@ yahoo..com )
Or contact:
Mr. RAVI SHANKAR
SMQ – 17/2AF
VAYUSENABAD
TUGLAKABAD
NEW DELHI-110062

Liquor den in Silver Oaks Condominium

Today a liquor shop, tomorrow a brothel.

My friends, that is a reality, which I have to face every time I see my face in the mirror. I see a pimp staring at me through the glass barrier.

We all are nothing but pimps, who would broke or sell anything and everything for money in the middle of masked societies.

In olden days, the occupation was limited to the half gender but today its hard to find an assertive gender.

Shame on us.

Hedge against fear

An insurance agent called up today. He asked me if I had any kind of insurance. I told him, yes, I have an insured mortality. Free of cost, no premiums and 100% return. Beat that? So beat it now.

Fear is a symptom of instability. World is hedging in fear and creating more instability. Seek stability in instability and hedge against fear. Enjoy your roller coaster life. No ticket for this ride. Its free.

The Gambler

On a train bound for nowhere, the best that you could hope for is to die peacefully in your sleep. Otherwise, its all a wild goose chase, a nonstop medley of vagaries, which you gotta maneuver through deftly - when, what and how, until the last blunder.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run. - (Sense of Opportunity)
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin when the dealin's done. - (Here is an Ace that imbibes whole of Gita ka Gyan - karm kiye ja, phal ki ichchha mat kar)
Now every gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep. - (Sense of Distinction)
cause every hands a winner and every hands a loser, - ( Here is another Ace - God has dealt same cards to everyone. its how you play them that matters)
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep. ( And the final Ace - Satisfaction is the checkered flag, and we all are losers on that count. we run out of gas on the track before the flag is down for us.)

In short n crisp, the train bound for nowhere is carrying a load of losers.....but it's better to break even than be a totally screwed ass.

- my sincere regards to Don Schlitz / Kenny Rogers

Quote Time

If singularity is infinite, all big things come in binary package - Sudhir Jain
http://sudkjain3.blogspot.com/

2009 - Year of Dog

It may be the year of Ox for Chinese but for us it will be the year of Dog.

Four Golden globes (and may be a few Oscars) for this movie based on the land of breaking and building dreams called Dharavi and its people hanging on the noose of hope and shattered faith. A moment of pride for Dharavi.

...And India, as Dharavi is where India lives. It's the pillar of our modern society. Crammed with suckers, who suck the poison produce of the civilised human society, so that the city can sleep in peace and wake up fresh the next day.

Stinking like large intestines, they feel, it is an out of bound place for the outside world. Slumdog is a peep into the pipe through a hole. Guys like ABC may not be wrong when they cry obscenity. But these very guys drool over nudity and privacy of west. In clean and cosy confines of their bedrooms, they catch brunettes and blonds in the act with three legged studs. It sells hot cakes here and west has no sense of shame or reservation selling it. Now, if west has flavour and taste for our poverty porn, feed till they vomit.

For the time being let Slumdog has his day (the year too) and build his house next to ABC or ABC move next to him in Dharavi, kholi no. 420.

Satyam Shivam Sundaram

Raju stole a piece of butter from a shop. He was lynched by the angry mob.

Raju screwed 'em all. He was worshiped by them.

Why did people lynch Raju in the first instance?
'cause they wanted it rough.

Truth is always a big B.

Happy New Year 2009

Let's not forget 26/11 on the eve of New Revolution (of Earth).

It's Showtime Folks...

My darling ant, living in Aamir's shelf of muscle building high protein supplements, was getting high on the spill. Her slender legs were becoming muscular with each dose. In few days she was able to stand on her hind pair and observe self in the reflection of the window pane. Ouch, a six pack trunk and muscular three pairs of limbs. She admired her body from each angle in every possible pose. She was on top of the world. Tired of self admiration alone, it was showtime.

Endowed with extra mass and a vision that had been restricted to the shoulders now, she descended from the shelf and headed toward the kitchen floor, where her friends of the lesser God were surviving on left-over carbs alone.

As expected, Ghajini ant surprised them all. This worker ant was easily mistaken for a queen. Elated with the response, she stood on her hind legs and began the display of mass and power. Other worker ants watched in awe. Just then they smelled and saw sweaty Aamir fast approaching them. They all dispersed and took cover. But ant Ghajini, blinded by inflated body and ego, kept the show going. Just then sky fell on her and she was crushed under Aamir's shoe.

Aamir prepared himself a drink of protein shake and gulped it down. It's showtime folks...

Tribute

Late Shmt. Munna Devi

Our beloved lady is with God now.

The Third World

Our existence today is at the mercy of terrorist's appetite.
Somebody must own responsibility for the failure. Heads must roll.
else
my fellow buffaloes, someone would again complement us for having the stomach to graze while the pride devours on our slain ego a few yards away.

"Spirit of the herd" ...big deal...bullshit.

Yes He Can

Congratulate US. Today they have overcome their color inhibition. A history has been written as the White House will have a black name plate for the first time.

When America is passing through one of the greatest financial crisis and the leanest and meanest times, everybody is asking,

Bob the Builder
Can we fix it?
Bob the Builder
He says, Yes we can!!!

Hope and wish you could do it, Bob. All the best Mr. Barack OBama.

Opinion On Opinion

Opinion is like an asshole, because asshole can never ascertain with 100% accuracy as to what and how much mouth had been stuffing all day long. It can only make an intelligent guess to that regard, subject to one did not puke during the day.

Reliving Big Bang

Cern's LHC will come to life in next two hours and take us back to the start line, where the universe started.

LHC is a super vacuumed centrifuge, studded with supercooled giant magnets, which will accelerate two hadron(protons) beams, in clockwise and anti-clockwise direction, to the speed close to light . These beams with mass travelling close to the speed of light in opposite directions will then be made to collide. And boom... a big bang. But nothing to worry about as there is no anti matter, collision will convert only part matter into energy and most important is scientist want to study the matter created there after.

We don't need no Nasa no Nano

Storms brewing up in Atlantic have made a beginning of a violent hurricane season. Gustav, Hanna and Ike, all influenced by Biejing Olympics, look like to be competing with each other. After Gustave, Hanna had its toll on human life. Now Ike is heading west with all its might with Josephine trailing back. Floods, tsunami and earthquakes are having a heavier toll.

Global warming is again on the cross wire for changing climate and why not. Falling ice shelves and receding ice limits with warmer land etc. are disturbing the wind matrix on the face of the earth, thereby upsetting ocean currents. Not many forms of life would be able to endure these sudden changes.

Can we afford economical progress at the cost of life on earth and for whom then?

Are we brainless bacteria, who finally get into death phase of their growth cycle due to their utter disregard to the changing environment within a culture(biological). The very medium or culture, that is initially rich and conducive for their growth, turns into their death trap, as they multiply in size and number.

So my friends, go to sleep. Let there be tomorrow. The sun will shine again and whiff of fresh air will fill life with joy and happiness. Do not let this boat sink, cause earth alone is our last hope and not Moon or the Mars. We don't need no Nasa no Nano. Hey guys, leave this earth alone.

Lets move to London

Over one billion Indians and that one shot in the blue to pamper our pride in the nationality. On the other hand, China's gold plunder at Beijing has crashed the world gold market.

Champion of optimism and a true nationalist, I am closely following up Indian challenge at Beijing. With little or no effort (like Usain Bolt), one after the other, Indians have been falling from the bird's nest to shop downtown or collect free condoms at the village.

Now left in the ring are three boxers from my native state. Oops... only two. As I was writing this, I received this on my yahoo - "Akhil Kumar knocked out in quarters."

But my optimism is still high with two to go. Even if all my hopes are dashed by 20th August, 2008, I will wait for the London games. After all, the Bolt, that strikes the nine pins, is a treat to watch.