Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Happy New Year 2009

Let's not forget 26/11 on the eve of New Revolution (of Earth).

Monday, December 22, 2008

It's Showtime Folks...

My darling ant, living in Aamir's shelf of muscle building high protein supplements, was getting high on the spill. Her slender legs were becoming muscular with each dose. In few days she was able to stand on her hind pair and observe self in the reflection of the window pane. Ouch, a six pack trunk and muscular three pairs of limbs. She admired her body from each angle in every possible pose. She was on top of the world. Tired of self admiration alone, it was showtime.

Endowed with extra mass and a vision that had been restricted to the shoulders now, she descended from the shelf and headed toward the kitchen floor, where her friends of the lesser God were surviving on left-over carbs alone.

As expected, Ghajini ant surprised them all. This worker ant was easily mistaken for a queen. Elated with the response, she stood on her hind legs and began the display of mass and power. Other worker ants watched in awe. Just then they smelled and saw sweaty Aamir fast approaching them. They all dispersed and took cover. But ant Ghajini, blinded by inflated body and ego, kept the show going. Just then sky fell on her and she was crushed under Aamir's shoe.

Aamir prepared himself a drink of protein shake and gulped it down. It's showtime folks...

Sunday, December 21, 2008


Late Shmt. Munna Devi
Our beloved lady is with God now.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Third World

Our existence today is at the mercy of terrorist's appetite.
Somebody must own responsibility for the failure. Heads must roll.
my fellow buffaloes, someone would again complement us for having the stomach to graze while the pride devours on our slain ego a few yards away.

"Spirit of the herd" ...big deal...bullshit.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Yes He Can

Congratulate US. Today they have overcome their color inhibition. A history has been written as the White House will have a black name plate for the first time.

When America is passing through one of the greatest financial crisis and the leanest and meanest times, everybody is asking,

Bob the Builder
Can we fix it?
Bob the Builder
He says, Yes we can!!!

Hope and wish you could do it, Bob. All the best Mr. Barack OBama.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Opinion On Opinion

Opinion is like an asshole, because asshole can never ascertain with 100% accuracy as to what and how much mouth had been stuffing all day long. It can only make an intelligent guess to that regard, subject to one did not puke during the day.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Reliving Big Bang

Cern's LHC will come to life in next two hours and take us back to the start line, where the universe started.

LHC is a super vacuumed centrifuge, studded with supercooled giant magnets, which will accelerate two hadron(protons) beams, in clockwise and anti-clockwise direction, to the speed close to light . These beams with mass travelling close to the speed of light in opposite directions will then be made to collide. And boom... a big bang. But nothing to worry about as there is no anti matter, collision will convert only part matter into energy and most important is scientist want to study the matter created there after.

Friday, September 05, 2008

We don't need no Nasa no Nano

Storms brewing up in Atlantic have made a beginning of a violent hurricane season. Gustav, Hanna and Ike, all influenced by Biejing Olympics, look like to be competing with each other. After Gustave, Hanna had its toll on human life. Now Ike is heading west with all its might with Josephine trailing back. Floods, tsunami and earthquakes are having a heavier toll.

Global warming is again on the cross wire for changing climate and why not. Falling ice shelves and receding ice limits with warmer land etc. are disturbing the wind matrix on the face of the earth, thereby upsetting ocean currents. Not many forms of life would be able to endure these sudden changes.

Can we afford economical progress at the cost of life on earth and for whom then?

Are we brainless bacteria, who finally get into death phase of their growth cycle due to their utter disregard to the changing environment within a culture(biological). The very medium or culture, that is initially rich and conducive for their growth, turns into their death trap, as they multiply in size and number.

So my friends, go to sleep. Let there be tomorrow. The sun will shine again and whiff of fresh air will fill life with joy and happiness. Do not let this boat sink, cause earth alone is our last hope and not Moon or the Mars. We don't need no Nasa no Nano. Hey guys, leave this earth alone.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Lets move to London

Over one billion Indians and that one shot in the blue to pamper our pride in the nationality. On the other hand, China's gold plunder at Beijing has crashed the world gold market.

Champion of optimism and a true nationalist, I am closely following up Indian challenge at Beijing. With little or no effort (like Usain Bolt), one after the other, Indians have been falling from the bird's nest to shop downtown or collect free condoms at the village.

Now left in the ring are three boxers from my native state. Oops... only two. As I was writing this, I received this on my yahoo - "Akhil Kumar knocked out in quarters."

But my optimism is still high with two to go. Even if all my hopes are dashed by 20th August, 2008, I will wait for the London games. After all, the Bolt, that strikes the nine pins, is a treat to watch.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Life is to change

Eversince, we have stepped into the twenty first century, our existence is increasingly getting uncertain, partly because of increasing number and diminishing resources and partly because of our bloating needs, which, I am afraid, are not very nature friendly.

Education and information are turning us into paranoids. We are getting wary of each other. Common man is reeling under identity crisis. In the name of creativity and originality we are screwing straight lines or skewing upright images. Music has turned into noise and entertainment into pure madness. Research and development is about proving the obvious wrong.

But all is not wrong. There is still a silver lining to the cloud and thread of brilliance with which the vicious spider is hanging. We got to straighten up our twisted and tangled psyches and lives. We have to withdraw ourselves from relativity and enjoy uniqueness of our own frame in this vast universe, respecting other's (x, y) at the same time. Only a sociological and psychological revolution may save this world now. We must work on changing the existing education system and curriculum.

Education today should be about becoming better creature and not better human.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Bees and the Bear

Bare Necessities, simple and easy to come by.
When talking of bare necessities, one can't avoid mumbling Baloo's number from the movie 'The Jungle book'.

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life...

The bees are buzzin' in the tree
To make some honey just for me...

If you act like that bee acts, uh uh
You're working too hard...
The number provides a number of reasons to live on bare necessities. Yes Sir Rudyard Kippling, I fully agree with you. World would have been a better place if undies were never called undies. But I disagree with Baloo the bear, who has been an out right Hypocrite when he taunts bees for collecting beyond their daily quota and claims that he himself lives on the bear minimum. In fact, half the year he is hogging and hoarding food in his big belly, saving for the winter days, when he would go into hibernation. No different than the ants and the bees, who work and save for the rainy days.

Getting back to the crux, unlike Baloo and the bees, we have stretched our needs much beyond the rationale of rainy days. We have lost the reason to work and possess. Its pure and simple greed which is driving us all. As a result human-hive is brooding a large population of greedy eunuch hogs thriving on else's sweat and sweet. Bare necessities are no longer easy and simple to come by. Worry and strife are always riding high on shoulders and playing over mind.

One day, this anthill would shrivel under the hollowness of substance and heat of lust and desire.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Earth Day - 22nd April

We live in a world where randomness and disorder are the order of the day. Principle of maximum entropy prevails. Energy and matter both seek inertial uniformity.

Any kind of bias is highly instable. Bias builds up potential difference, which instantaneously sets up motion, resulting in high entropy or randomness making the system stable.

Human race, by nature is biased, prejudiced and order loving. On the whole, a highly unstable package. Our alignment has wasted many of us in the past and will ultimately wipe the whole species out of the face of this earth someday.

On this day, we must pledge for a non aligned existence. There is beauty, peace and stability in diversity. Nobody is perfect in this world and as a cocktail we make a perfect drink that alone can give a perpetual High.

We will have to change our mindset to perceive order in disorder. That's what modern art is all about.There is a comfy butt place anywhere and everywhere, you just gotta shake those buns and adjust. Love thy neighbour but say no to brotherhood.

Desire spells disaster. Resign to the uncertainty. Long live Earth and all...

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Fatal Attraction

Yet another finely done up mall sprung up next door. Spic n span interiors with beautiful colours and an orderly display of luring stuff. That was Spencers Retail mart at MGF mall in Gurgaon.

Spencers sounded very homely and I, against my nature, purchased two items viz. Sunflame gas stove and Philips Audio system. That was in January, 2008. But to my dismay, both items, though branded, turned out to be defective.

Well, I might like to forget the incidence as one night stand. But surely, Spencer’s would not like to be branded as just another hoover in town.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Bread or Butter

April 4, 2008
Only y'day we were skiing o'er butter and today moon's a bread. I always saw moon in bread. But it was man's obsession with oil that has finally launched tanduri roti to the place it belonged.

Sensex also bows to Dilip's and Himesh's Roti and dips 490pts. - something heading south, when everything else seeking nothing on gyro...

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Handle with Care!

When I was a kid, my parents bought me new clothes but I won't wear them lest they would get dirty. I roamed around naked and they all just laughed at me.

I have grown up since then. But now I have come across this bunch of civilized citizens in the twilight zone, who won't let children play in the grounds lest they(the grounds) would go bald. Ha -ha -ha!!! And these guys have little or no time to amend themselves.

Moreover, the complex managers have been using common areas, which we have already paid for, for commercial activities like coaching club etc. Also, thanks to the greed of builders and developers, there are no grounds left in the near vicinity. The ground between F and H block has been the latest victim to these predators.

Our young guns need to fire full barrels in the outdoors. So the grounds in the complex cannot be made out of bound for them.

In the end, to my senior and civilized friends:
How many times did you read and were told, not to drink or eat spicy food. But you did and ruined that delicate grass(lining) of your very own private stomach. But now, why this love and concern for the common grounds, which are basically meant for the growth of the most beautiful flowers on this earth ie our kids?

If you have no answer, laugh with me and amend.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentine's Day


I find those attachments raw and ugly. Creator has certainly not put in much time in designing those organs.

But still the world has been obsessed with them. Loads of web pages display them full blown from every angle and in every possible pose. Millions of surfers ogle and drool over with greed. But believe me, with regards private parts God has cut a sorry figure. Everyday I see those ugly sketches on the inner doors of our apartment elevator, drawn by servants, labourers or naughty kids with limited artistic bent. Those informal compositions, displaying private parts in public lift, do put us in embarrassing situation at times.

No different, as far as basic instincts go, I took cue from the lift door and thought of expanding the objects of desire into abstraction. Finally, the canvas had a curled pink and purple petals background with a solitary green cactus with brown hue, standing tall in the middle. On Valentine's day tomorrow, the painting, a blur replica of our elevator door, will find a place on my bedroom wall.

Only if God had not done this crude injustice, hearts wouldn’t have been selling on valentine day. Cause, hearts have nothing to do with love.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Cry for Injustice

Indian cricket team playing down under, gets some dubious decisions from the two Penguin like creatures on the ground and whole of India moans in pain as if the cherry had hit them straight on their balls with no guard on. (I doubt very much if we actually have a pair.)
Indian News papers and TV channels, who are always short of matter, got some fodder to chew and cud. Similarly, Indian masses known for having a solid digestion system against injustice or rebuke, failed to digest this one and result was mass heartburn and flatulence.
It is strange that few white collar players, passing their time on field in slow animation with hide and stick, keep our adrenaline levels high. And any inappropriate action or inaction on part of those stationary officials, who are restricted to minimal animation of a yawn or hand signs including finger gestures, challenges our sleeping manhood.

Such insults to the weaker sections of society are a part of sociological behaviour of man. But alarming is direct intrusion and attack on them in their own territory, which puts their existence in jeopardy in this civilized world. But, we have blissfully closed our eyes to the bloody walls around us and have got involved in the kid's stuff. Sure these walls will have 'Injustice' written on them with our blood one day.

So guys, wake up now. Rise above petty 'Gilli danda stufff' and join that voice of protest and self defence, which is being smothered next door.