Return of God

God returns to earth after a long time and he is mighty hurt and angered seeing the plight of earth. He roars, "You li'l termites, you've screwed my good damn li'l ball. 65 million years ago when I came here, it were those large assho...(dinosaurs), and now this chicken shit spewed all ov."

God does a vanishing act and man joins his big brother Godzilla in fossil archives.

TO CERN OR DISCERN

What a waste of resources at CERN. To me CERN is nothing more than a science circus, where Protons in LHC are like motorcyclists in the ring of death.

100 years back someone re-wrote physics using just the grey matter. Here we have an army of best of the grey, alas!, greying in vain.

Expecting 'Big Bang' out of erection which can not ejeculate? Must be Kidding! CERN, stop shaking and use a 'disCERNing sight and mind' to unravel the mysteries of the universe.

Carnage in Banana Republic

Hrg, someone having an edge, ran amok through a silent grove in Silver Oaks today.

Beneath the ire is always a deep rooted fear. We are scared of tail wagging dogs, friendly monkeys, microsoft mosquitoes and what not. Education, information and knowledge are turning us weak, vulnerable and insecure.

If so is the case, I wud prefer to live by the jungle book, blissfully ignorant, in some oak grove.

To be or not to be

Why in dilemma? Argument is always between the believers of the same coin.

If God existed, he would probably be an atheist. ...but as humans, we have him in our DNA. As long as there is darkness, Godly shadow would exist. Let's not forbid ourselves the fruit of stupidity and bliss of ignorance in the name of allah.

For me, since I am not God, I believe, Let there be light... and there was man.
 
Amen!

TERI maa ki...

After basking in sun and glory for long, Mr. Pachauri and his TERI, 'The Energy Research Institute', have come under rapid fire of frozen balls as 'brass monkey weather' prevails in entire Northern Hemisphere.

TERI's belief of global warming causing disappearance of ice on the 'mother' earth, which snowballed into a faith and a huge movement, has been whitewashed (momentarily) by the prolonged spell of snowfall this winter. To add to the cry, Mr Pachauri's conduct and lavish life style is not jelling to the group's preaching. True, It needs a Mahatma to lead a massive campaign of this order.

The worldwide criticism and rebuke that Mr. Pachauri is weathering is harsher than the winter itself as it is too early to rubbish the global warming funda and all that ho-halla at Copenhagen. Warming or no warming, the consumer base is expanding at an alarming rate and if we don't mend our ways, a day would come when 'survival of the fittest' will become order of the day. Sentimental words like love, charity, pity, benevolence etc will disappear from oxford dictionary. There will be just hate and fear n the law of the wild like we have in Haiti these days.

But for now, the 'Yes Brigade' is having a laugh and spewing heat on Pachauri and his $1200 suit, which is just too much for the poor delicate fabric to handle.

Unique Identification Authority of India

A techno buff is going to turn us all into numbers. A billion odd numbers on government roster will create further nuisance value in the system. Many of us will be employed to rig the geometry of bogus UIDs.

They say that Unique National IDs will help address the rigged state elections, widespread embezzlement that affects subsidies and poverty alleviation programs and at the same time it will check illegal immigration and terrorist threats.

But experience begs to differ on the claim. Increased mechanisation and computerisation in the past has not been able to stop criminals at the doorsteps of House of Common or legislative assemblies. In fact their number has been increasing despite of various rules and regulations coming into farce. All these politicians and brokers of power are dancing naked in the open air Hamam with their middle finger up in the air.

The reason is simple, there must be the will to curb corruption or misuse of power. In absolute absence of 'the soul will', no matter what system you build, will present a huge gateway (of India) to all those terrorists and criminals, whereas the man in Jharkhand or Orissa, as usual, will spend the entire life searching for mango kernel to sustain growth (after all we all grow up with time - technically). On the brighter side, this ground search will save him the misery of watching the middle finger abuse and ugly nakedness of humanity.

Looking up, UIDAI is just a wasteful exercise in the name of growth and cleansing of human civilization. In stead, a massive search operation to re-install the lost human conscience is required. Merely, tagging the soulless heads is a sham as the existing system itself.

Of beliefs and faiths - and their conflict and shift

Strange world that we live in. Our existence is wholly dependent on relativity and in absence of reference frames we just get lost. I don't know who, what or where I am unless I have another lost soul around.

In such a world our belief and faith can not be universal since it is frame dependent and we all have different frames, different views, different aspects etc. If there are 'n' number of people, there would be 'n' number of perceptions to an event.

But, as a society, it is not possible to move with scattered or fractured belief. Therefore, all social animals have a hierarchical structure. Elders and wise men of the societies, define standards, norms, protocols and rules based on past experiences and assumptions. These beliefs are passed on to generations after generations by parents, teachers, religious leaders and schools. And we live by these paradigms, which are fully endorsed by the respective societies we live in. A strict discipline is required to maintain law and order in the society and any infringement to the expected way of life is considered unlawful and anti social.

However, there is nothing rational about any of them. It's our mutual acceptance and obedience, which make them so real that most of the times the societies suffer from paradigm paralysis.

In a more rational world, new flow of information and experience should give rise to paradigm shift. But usually, the individual perception conflict faces stiff resistance and inertia before becoming evolutionary paradigm shift. It took ages for man to universally accept that it was actually the earth which revolved round the sun and not the way, God(Bible) perceived it.

Notwithstanding anything said above, adherence to the rule of the society, we live in, is paramount. Any conflict of opinion must be resolved patiently and peacefully. Changes will keep on taking place because change defines time. If matter is to inertia, life (time) is to change. And time is the boss... not matter.

For the bottom line, I maintain, Ignorance is bliss and matter is as irrational as the time itself.

2012 - clock stops there.

Nothing sells like death and destruction. Cash obsessed mind would not let go the golden opportunity that the Mayan calendar has presented. So, we have another Armageddon or apocalypse or doomsday in reel (not real).

Master disaster shooter, Roland Emmerich of Godzilla & ID4 fame, has blown golden shit over silver wall again in his today released film, '2012'. Over usd200mill movie, filled with great visual and sound effects, will keep you on the edge throughout. But the script is nothing more than a senseless fiction.

Like always, I maintain, it has to be man vs man and not nature which is going to wipe us out of the face of this earth. The intense hatred will get the 'bustard' anywhere in the universe, be it a bunker on moon or be it a reboot spaceship.

TGIF the 13th...

COP 15

4.5 billion years ago Earth was created
540 million years ago life first stirred the oceans
Rain forest has been growing for 130 million years
and coral reefs are 18 million year old
200,000 year ago humans emerged and settled on the planet
But it took just one century to put the planet in peril.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa_Hf0jHct4

Above are the campaign lines for the up coming 'United Nations Climate Change Conference 2009 (COP15)', to be held on 7-18 December, 2009 in Copenhagen, Denmark. The conference is being touted as the next big step after Kyoto protocol drawn up in 1997.

While 'monkey with axe' is at work, who gives a damn about climate. Heading for the conference would be a coherent beam of personnel with single motive i.e.. how to make billions and trillions out of the chaos.

Guru mantra is to invest in green (not in greenbacks pls!). Whole idea is to chase a new direction. Increased entropy in the existing system has rendered it a low potential zone. After all, how long could you screw the same old pit. Oil up - oil down, I think oil is getting sick of the irrational cycles. Investors need a fresh pasture and want to 'go green' where the sheep may come marching in later.

God must be crazy. While death's knockin at the door, man is busy trading futures.

Dump it all in the deep blue ocean and life would survive another billion years.

Happy B'day daddy.

Everytime you flaunt that paper, remember, ' Simplicity mein adhbudh shakti hai.'

the Hole in the Wall

Today the greatest Irony of mankind is our education system. I know, I am addressing to the set of people, who are of explicit conventionality and who strictly conform to pre-defined standards of propriety. We deal with society as something finally squared and settled, with no room for freaks (that's what we call them).

Generation after generations we pass on the legacy of traditions and orthodoxy in bid to standardize and homogenize society. We perceive the world through the dark glasses of conventionality. We measure abstracts on numeric scales (how stupid). Beauty has to conform to butt and bust measurements. Brain has to conform to the stereotype answers to silly questionnaire like:

• What quality do you like most about yourself and why?
• What is the one feature you'd change about yourself and why?
• What is your definition of success?
• If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?

There are schools and teachers all around us. We all belong to one or the other school of stereotype copycats or birds of the same feather (thought). In other words we are nothing but prisoners in the walls around us and our originality rests in peace somewhere buried deep under the wall.

Guys, break free from the bondage of relativity. Nine-eleven the high-rise of hierarchy of  status and class. Enjoy individuality. Write your own script without copying or overwriting someone else's.

Dig a hole in the wall. Look, someone is reaching out for his zipper and soon he will be aiming at the wall around you.

Long live Pink Floyd!!!

Do You Earn It?

Wife called him 'Sergeant' and kids addressed him 'Sergeant ji'. If any of his friends called out 'Ram' (his real name), he would be irked and would instantaneously counter with the amendment.

The behaviour surprised many. They thought 'Ram' was a godly name and how a person could have objection to such a heavenly name.

His old father came along one day and called him by his name. As usual the sergeant tendered the correction. Like many others, his father was not surprised but was shocked by this sudden metaphor. The old dandy was reluctant to post at the changed address.

The perplexed father questioned his son's title fetish.The sergeant replied, "This I earned for myself. That you gave me, and I prefer to keep what I earn. So you better call me Sergeant."

The old man thought for a while and gave a cold reply, "OK Sergeant, I think, I don't have much time left on me and I brought this will for you, but now I need to change it, cause you don't earn it."

Vanishing Act by an Airlines

Sex No Bar

Delhi high court has decriminalized massacre of pin worms, oops, I mean homosexuality.

I see it as the first step to decriminalize Indian politics. Legalise all crimes and politics will automatically be decriminalized. Simple! Great thinking.

And also, an answer to India's growing population as runaway sperms are bound to hit the heap of shit and get wasted.

Congratulation my countrymen, your better halve may have similar pol(e)arity. More options available to you now for matrimony with ' sex no bar'.

Baring Necessity

Man is a hardcore hypocrite. Class two and three books say, man wears clothes to protect self from weather.

But infact, it all started after Eve ate the apple, leaf acquired the centre stage on human body, which constantly intrigued both of them from then on as to "Patti ke pichhe kya hai?" The curiosity has resulted in trillions of us, many dead cats and others surviving.

I am sitting in the office and sweating profusely under my clothes in 40 degree C room temperature as all power appliances rest in peace here. They all are martyr to an over-efficient Sun and a grossly under-efficient state electricity board.

I envy the electricity board, which has right to shed but we don't. Clothes on me have lost the sense of purpose yet I have to don them for the leafy concept.

Wish my bottle of beer, bare ass and hell with shameful hypocrisy!!!

Missing Girl

Tsunami spared her. But as the fate be, she was abducted from the relief camp.

If you've seen her, pls report to:
1. James mathew( 123.mathew@gmail. com )
2. Amit kumar ( amitkumarmajor@ hotmail.com )
3. khem chandra pan ( khemchandrapan@ yahoo..com )
Or contact:
Mr. RAVI SHANKAR
SMQ – 17/2AF
VAYUSENABAD
TUGLAKABAD
NEW DELHI-110062

Liquor den in Silver Oaks Condominium

Today a liquor shop, tomorrow a brothel.

My friends, that is a reality, which I have to face every time I see my face in the mirror. I see a pimp staring at me through the glass barrier.

We all are nothing but pimps, who would broke or sell anything and everything for money in the middle of masked societies.

In olden days, the occupation was limited to the half gender but today its hard to find an assertive gender.

Shame on us.

Hedge against fear

An insurance agent called up today. He asked me if I had any kind of insurance. I told him, yes, I have an insured mortality. Free of cost, no premiums and 100% return. Beat that? So beat it now.

Fear is a symptom of instability. World is hedging in fear and creating more instability. Seek stability in instability and hedge against fear. Enjoy your roller coaster life. No ticket for this ride. Its free.

The Gambler

On a train bound for nowhere, the best that you could hope for is to die peacefully in your sleep. Otherwise, its all a wild goose chase, a nonstop medley of vagaries, which you gotta maneuver through deftly - when, what and how, until the last blunder.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run. - (Sense of Opportunity)
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin when the dealin's done. - (Here is an Ace that imbibes whole of Gita ka Gyan - karm kiye ja, phal ki ichchha mat kar)
Now every gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep. - (Sense of Distinction)
cause every hands a winner and every hands a loser, - ( Here is another Ace - God has dealt same cards to everyone. its how you play them that matters)
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep. ( And the final Ace - Satisfaction is the checkered flag, and we all are losers on that count. we run out of gas on the track before the flag is down for us.)

In short n crisp, the train bound for nowhere is carrying a load of losers.....but it's better to break even than be a totally screwed ass.

- my sincere regards to Don Schlitz / Kenny Rogers

Quote Time

If singularity is infinite, all big things come in binary package - Sudhir Jain
http://sudkjain3.blogspot.com/